In addition, the happy/sad/<fill in what kind> of ending" is relative to the perceiver! Also, "beginnings" and "endings" are relative. Beginnings/endings are merely signifiers of stages, and are not to be taken as ends in themselves.

... and here is my update (as of 16 February 2009)

1. What I Saw When I Saw Tara. From the looks of it, it seems that Tara's condition has not changed much since the last time I saw her (November 2008). She occasionally made chewing motions. Her arms were bent at an awkward angle--stiff, with her elbows aligned with the wrist forming a horizontal line at her chest. Her fingers were curled toward her palms. Her right eye was open but there was no sign of recognition or active mental processing. (I was glad to see a sparkle in her eyes, though. I didn't see that the last time I was there.) There was a bandage over her left eye, the eye beneath the gunshot injury, the injury now sealed with stitches, even as bullet fragments lie embedded in various parts of her brain.

I noticed that her head was facing me as I sat in the room waiting for Tita Anne. Her brow was slightly furrowed. I like to think it meant that she heard me speaking with the nurses. That she had a sense that I was in the room. Or at least, that she was trying to figure out who I was.

Two nurses were checking her stats and changing her diaper when I visited. I didn't want to disturb them so I decided not to talk to Tara just then.

2. Conversation with Tita Anne (Tara's mom) and Tito Larry (Tara's dad). Soon after I arrived, I got to speak with Tita Anne and Tito Larry. I gave Tita Anne the donations from two members of the Ateneo community. Tita Anne was very grateful. She said that the donations came just in time for two new medical supplies--a peg and a mouth guard. If I recall correctly, the peg is supposed to be inserted into Tara's belly and the mouth guard should secure the peg. This is supposed to help prevent the infections. Tara has been getting so many infections from the hospital, which is why she was relocated again. Infections are not just a health problem; they're a financial problem, too. When Tara gets infections, she has to be injected with a special medicine four times a day. Each injection of that medicine costs PhP 2,000.

My heart goes out to Tita Anne and Tito Larry. This crime has altered their way of life. Aside from working to earn a living, they have to go to the hospital regularly. They have to deal with so many people: doctors who can't guarantee Tara's full recovery, nurses, phone calls from concerned friends, relatives, even strangers, the media. They have to run additional errands, which I'll explain later. The stress of it all has taken its toll on them. Last year, Tito Larry and Lila (Tara's sister) got sick because of the stress. Now Tita Anne is sick.

They have to deal with financial decisions and decisions about medicines and medical supplies. For instance, instead of using Medical City's diapers and dry pads, they buy their own because this would cost less. Instead of using Medical City's peg, Tito Larry had to go the Philippine General Hospital (PGH) to buy one. Why? Because Medical City would charge them PhP 8,000 for a peg that costs PhP 4,000 at PGH.

I already mentioned the cost of the injection to prevent infections. The medicine needed to counter the infection costs PhP 2,000 per shot and it needs to be injected four times a day. That's when Tara gets infections. But even the mere thought of the basic daily expenses just boggles the mind. The cost of a nurse's twelve-hour shift is PhP 900. To have a nurse present for two shifts would cost PhP 1,800. That's the cost of one nurse. Recall that I mentioned that there were two nurses in the room when I visited Tara. Assuming that there are two nurses with Tara twenty-four hours a day, their presence would cost PhP 3,600. PhP 3,600 a day, and that's just for nurses!

And as far as I know, these fees are not included in the PhP 1.8 million bill. That just covers the hospital bill. That does not include the fees for the medicines and the nurses, which I discussed earlier. Oh, that also does not include the doctors' fees. Tara has five doctors. The neurosurgeon's fee is PhP 300,000.

3. Home Care, Memories. I asked Tita Anne about home care. She told me that home care would entail even more costs. They would need to purchase a hospital bed and back-up oxygen, for starters. But they look forward to bringing Tara home, in the hopes that bringing her to a familiar place would stimulate her memories.

Tito Larry told me that they were trying to stimulate Tara's memories by feeding her stories about her childhood, playing familiar music. He suggested that, given Tara's service in the Ateneo ROTC, it might help her wake up if she was exposed to the sound of military commands. He even joked that I should visit Tara one day in my uniform. But then he said that Medical City might not allow me to enter if I showed up in full military dress.

4. Donations and more. Financial assistance is very much appreciated. You may send donations to Anne Marie F. Santelices, Banco de Oro, SA 2140-06220-1.

Aside from financial assistance, getting the word out is also very important. Media attention increases the likelihood that the story reaches more people who are in the position to help. Tito Larry also mentioned that it would be important to see the story from other angles.

If you have the following medicines and supplies, or if you know who else has the following medicines and supplies, you may want to consider making donations in kind:

Daily Meds:

1. DEPAKENE SYRUP - VALPORIC ACID
2. BACLOFEN - LIORESAL - 10 MG. - 12PCS DAILY
3. SQUIBB - 400 - 2X A DAY
4. COMBIVENT NEBULES - FOR NEBULIZER
5. DILANTIN CAPSULES - 100MGS. - 2X A DAY

Daily Supplies

1. LARGE DIAPERS
2. DRYPADS
3. TISSUE PAPER

5. Why we care. Those of us who know Tara care because we know her, because we love her. Those who don't know Tara but find ways to help do so because they feel sorry for her and her family, or because they were deeply affected by her story. Or perhaps, they help because they care about the people who care about Tara, even if they don't know her personally. Ateneo and Assumption Antipolo alumni are concerned because of the shared school identity.

Yet beyond interpersonal and school identity bonds lies a bigger picture. Tara's case illuminates the tragic realities of the Philippines' health care system--the high costs of medical treatment, in particular. It is costly to get sick, to get injured. And while it is true that there are many ways of preventing unnecessary illness and injury, terrible things strike despite all attempts at prevention. No one asks to be held up. No one asks to be shot at close range. No one asks to be comatose, to be confined in ICU, to be subjected to endless poking, prodding, injections, tubes, therapy and medication. No one wants this to happen to him-/herself or to his/her loved ones. But these things happen everyday, everywhere. It could happen to anyone. We can only hope to minimize the risk, but we can never completely obliterate it. And if something similar ever happens to us, this is what we shall face: the apathy of bystanders (fellow Filipinos!), delayed action on the part of law enforcement officials (who would close the case after shooting a fall guy), high medical bills, our loved ones scrambling for resources, making decisions they never thought they'd have to make.

This was not an accident. All this is the result of a crime.

This did not have to happen. But it did. And it happened here.



Angela B Serrano
angge.serrano@gmail.com
(0928) 506 1117

Even with free will in the picture, I always imagined life as a bigger-scaled "Choose Your Own Adventure" book with God's will still prevailing, His plan for us gracefully unfolding in His time no matter which adventure we chose.

Note my go-getter/control obssessed/assertive/aggressive/worry-wart self: "The Lord will fight for you you need only to be still." (Exodus 14:14)

Darling, no matter what your head says or what your heart chooses to believe, God will always fix it in His time.

On another note, Ate Olive reminded me to ask for a Word last week. He gave it to me the other day:

Hello, I'm an endnote! "Are you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it?" from Danity Kane's "Damaged".

Even with free will in the picture, I always imagined life as a bigger-scaled "Choose Your Own Adventure" book with God's will still prevailing no matter which adventure we chose.

I love you, Jesus.